Papers Please

I was thinking about background checks for gun ownership.  It troubles me, but I can see their point.  You don't necessarily want criminals or crazys running around armed.  It's just asking for trouble.  But what a pain in the rear to have to get a new background check every time you want to by a gun (or some ammo...). 

Perhaps they should issue a card.  We could call it a Citizen In Good Standing card. "CIGS" card for short.

You could go into a gunshop, flash your card and pay for your gun.  No fuss- no muss.  Easy peasy.

Get in trouble with the law, loose your card.  Period.  No more guns for you, bad boy.

But why stop there?  We could require a card for ALL constitutionally guaranteed rights! 
Do we really want crazy criminals running around unchecked and doing ANYTHING important?

Want to vote?  Flash your "CIGS" card at the polls.
Want to go to your church/mosque/temple? "CIGS" card at the door, please.
Suffrage? If you can show your card and we'll treat you like a person.
Search and seizure?  Got a card and we'll get a warrant first.
Due process?  Trial by jury of your peers?  Counsel?  Show your get out of jail with fee card.
Freedom of speech?  Freedom of the press?  Citizens in good standing only, please.
(Maybe an IQ test should also be required for a press card.  Nah, that would kill talk radio...)

 Requiring a background check/card would anger the right/left/moderates totally and equally.  That makes it the ideal compromise.

We would be one step closer to the "Show me your papers" society our parents and grand parents fought against in WW2 as envisioned and implemented by the Nazis.

A safe society indeed. Citizens in good standing only may complain.

Earl