Thursday, August 18, 2011

Bovine Response Syndrome

Bovine Response Syndrome, alternatively known as Bovine Reaction Syndrome   (B.R.S.)

A common syndrome in famine effected areas and third world countries, B.R.S. is a relatively new disorder in the United States effecting a disproportionally large number of women between the ages of 16 and 50.

Symptoms can be:
    Mild confusion
    Slower mental response time to external stimuli
    Weakness, tiredness or light-headedness 
    Rapid heartbeat and breathing
    Vacant or vapid stare
    Pale skin
    Easy bruising or bleeding
    Slow reaction time to internal stimuli
    Stomach upset
    Diarrhea or constipation
    Weight loss
    Lack of decisiveness in thought and action

Long term symptoms can include:

    Tingling or numbness in fingers and toes
    Difficulty walking
    Mood changes or depression
    Memory loss, disorientation, and dementia

B.R.S. has historically been most often found in third world countries and areas hit by long term famine.  In the U.S., cases most often occur in large metropolitan areas like Boulder Colorado, Berkley California, Sedona Arizona, Austin Texas, or any urban area with a large liberal arts college.  The high incidence of localized cases in these areas are not likely caused by contagion, but by a lack of proper nutrition due to a shared culture of bizarre eating habits.

A pop culture example of a text book case of B.R.S. would be the character "Luna" in the "Harry Potter" movie series.

There have been a number insightful thesis on the possible cause of the aberrant eating habits in the western world that can cause this syndrome, and most involve anthropomorphism in animated movies, like Walt Disney's "Bambi".  There are enough cases in the United States for the victims to be labeled as a group or type.  They are often called "Granolas" or "Fruitcakes".

Additional research may be required to identify contributing factors (missing enzymes required for quick nerve reactions), but one major identified factor in the syndrome is a deficiency of vitamin B12 caused by aberrant eating habits.

Vitamin B12 (cobolamin) is not produced in plants, or by the human body, and needs to be absorbed by ingesting animal products.

Possible treatments of the Vitamin B12 deficiency entail drinking large quantities of "liver juice" (made from strained pureed animal livers), or taking massive doses of pharmaceutical B12, manufactured in factories using genetically altered bacteria excreting the compound before their ultimate destruction to complete the extraction of the compound.  Alternatively, one could eat meat, eggs and dairy products.

This study was sponsored by the North American Institute for the Abolition of Obfuscation Eschewal,  Keen Sense of the Obvious Chapter