Monday, October 14, 2013

Change the Names to Protect the Innocent

I have heard that the NFL is contemplating name changes away from native American based monickers to keep from offending anyone.

Might I suggest changing the Washington DC team name from the Redskins to the Foreskins.

Who cares if any of the dickheads in that town are offended.


Friday, April 26, 2013

In the News

So, Archbishop Andre-Joseph Leonard was attacked in Europe by four gay, topless women yesterday who poured water on him.

The news reports make this sound like a bad thing to have happen to you.

As a straight male, I have to disagree.

My inner adolescent thinks  it sounds like a pretty good gig (except for the whole celibate thing).


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Papers Please

I was thinking about background checks for gun ownership.  It troubles me, but I can see their point.  You don't necessarily want criminals or crazys running around armed.  It's just asking for trouble.  But what a pain in the rear to have to get a new background check every time you want to by a gun (or some ammo...). 

Perhaps they should issue a card.  We could call it a Citizen In Good Standing card. "CIGS" card for short.

You could go into a gunshop, flash your card and pay for your gun.  No fuss- no muss.  Easy peasy.

Get in trouble with the law, loose your card.  Period.  No more guns for you, bad boy.

But why stop there?  We could require a card for ALL constitutionally guaranteed rights! 
Do we really want crazy criminals running around unchecked and doing ANYTHING important?

Want to vote?  Flash your "CIGS" card at the polls.
Want to go to your church/mosque/temple? "CIGS" card at the door, please.
Suffrage? If you can show your card and we'll treat you like a person.
Search and seizure?  Got a card and we'll get a warrant first.
Due process?  Trial by jury of your peers?  Counsel?  Show your get out of jail with fee card.
Freedom of speech?  Freedom of the press?  Citizens in good standing only, please.
(Maybe an IQ test should also be required for a press card.  Nah, that would kill talk radio...)

 Requiring a background check/card would anger the right/left/moderates totally and equally.  That makes it the ideal compromise.

We would be one step closer to the "Show me your papers" society our parents and grand parents fought against in WW2 as envisioned and implemented by the Nazis.

A safe society indeed. Citizens in good standing only may complain.


Friday, April 19, 2013

Too Damn Soon

The past couple of days the web has been abuzz with conspiracy theories about the guv'ment being responsible for the Boston bombing.

I ask,"To what end?"

This evening I may have figured it out.  Someone in the FBI or maybe the State Department is a "barefoot running" advocate.  It is a cinch that now the Dept of Homeland Security will require runners to take their shoes off before running the Boston Marathon next year.

The tinfoil hat brigade may be on to something this time...


My deepest sympathies to all effected by the bombing.