Ran across this some time ago...

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


There is something TRULY wrong with the Brits.

Earl

Election Time

Seems to me that politicians and baby's diapers have a lot in common.  They should BOTH be changed frequently.

And for the same reason.

Earl

General Rudeness

Sometimes, Hallmark doesn't quite say it.

Earl

Do You Suppose?

I was going through some old news papers to send to recycling, when I ran across an article.  Osama Bin Laden lived in a house with his 3 wives and never left the building for 5 years.

I'll be HE called the seals in.

Earl

No Surprise Here

Makes sense.

 

If I got shot in the back of the head, I'd probably look behind me, too.

Earl

Oh, Now I Get It.

Sometimes I run into a benign little joke that is just wrong enough on enough levels, that I can't help but love it.



What did the male unicorn say to the female unicorn when the arc doors closed?


"This cruise is going to be fabulous!"



Earl

Point of View

The pessimist sees only a dark tunnel.

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.

The realist sees a train coming in the tunnel.




The engineer sees three morons sitting on the tracks.

Earl

Read.

I should have figured it out sooner.

It's the shampoo I use in the shower.

When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body.

Printed very clearly on the shampoo label it reads, "FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."

I have gotten rid of the shampoo and I am going to start using dish detergent.

Its' label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE." That should do it.

Geez, it sure pays to read the label!

Earl

Santa's Secret

I just figured out why Santa is so jolly. 

He's got a list of all of the bad girls!

Earl

Thanksgiving Postmortem

  While eating the Thanksgiving dinner at GreatGrandmas house, one of my son-in-laws commented on not wanting any casserole.  "I don't want anything to do with something that ends in ass-a-role."

I may have shit myself, I laughed so hard.

Fortunately,  Great Grandma is nearly deaf, and missed it.

I really like the guy.  It's great not being the only complete dick in the family.

Earl