Sunday, May 1, 2011

More on Ageing (Moron?)

I have reached the point of chronological enhancement where a quick trip to the Walmart blood pressure machine and a glance at the mirror just ain't enough to catch the things that can go wrong with my body.  I have to go to a doctor for a physical and get poked and prodded.

No damn fun.

I have also reached the time in life where my friends will call and talk of their health problems.  As a guy, this isn't the way we did it when we were younger.  In my experience, women have always seemed to get together and talk of "plumbing" problems, but with the guys, not so much.  Unless it was actually plumbing problems.  Pipes, valves, hot water tanks and the like.  Internal bodily failures were to be ignored until pointed out to you by someone else. 

Ignorance is bliss.

Now I have lived long enough to see what can happen if you ignore things too long, and it just ain't worth it.  So off to the doctor I go, even before major leakages occur.

I got a call from an old friend (Hmmm, Freudian slip?)  Anywhen, he called and complained about that "fat fingered bastard" doctor of his.  He was, however pleased with the lack of problems that showed up during his exam.  It was kind of an odd coincidence, because the next day I had a physical exam scheduled with MY doctor.

I have always preferred going to female doctors.  I guess when I don't feel good, I want my mommy (Also Freudian?).

By the end of the physical, after having dropped trou and been poked and prodded, I was given a clean bill of health.  She told me she would step out so I could get dressed and then we could finish the paperwork.  I think that is a woman thing.  I've had female message therapists make the same offer.  I gave her a blank stare, and just got dressed.  Really, after having a testicular palpitation and a prostrate exam, I figure our relationship was well beyond embarrassment at seeing me pull up my socks or zip my jeans.  

Female doctors seem to often have a kinder, gentler bedside manner, and are more likely, in my experience to explain what they are doing, and why.

But you know the best thing about female doctors?  Small fingers.


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